Back 
Pleasurable Parenting: Flexible Reward Chart
Date: February 12, 2015
Umm Salihah Ahmed, a blog writer and a loving mother tells about a flexible reward chart on pleasurable parenting. The content of the blog can be read in an abridged format as follows: Children are the focus of our life and we are all on the way to parent them in the best lovable and pleasurable way. She is a compassionate devotee of Islam religion and believes that children are the blessings of Allah and thus we have to treat them in a divine way. Just wipe out the feelings of stress, worries, guilty and cruelty and to start dedicating our life to parent our children. We have to understand the faults of our children, so that we can correct them timely. At the same time we can celebrate their strengths, be gentle in the way we guide them and recognise when the right way to discipline requires a loving approach that tries to identify why a child might be rebelling rather than punishment. The best way to have a good parent is to agree with the qualities of our children first and to lead them to a positive approach to life. By accepting the continuous request from her kids, she has prepared a reward chart for them. The chart incorporated nine broad blogcategories of activity that could generate a reward (or merit) and each child had a different coloured dot to identify who did something good. She also added a bar across the top to show weeks from now to the end of the year.
"The best of what a man leaves behind are three: a righteous child who supplicates for him, ongoing charity the reward of which reaches him, and knowledge that is acted upon after him."
Sunan Ibn Mājah
"Every day two angels come down from Heaven and one of them says, 'O Allah! Compensate every person who spends in Your Cause,' and the other (angel) says, 'O Allah! Destroy every miser.'"
Sahih Bukhari
Related Blogs
Infallibility of Prophet Muhammad(SAW)
Assalamualaykum, I recently read a long healthy discussion on the topic of Infallibility of Prophet (saw) on the website Alim.org. This is a humble effort to clarify. Let us overcome our emotion, be objective, factual and deductive inshaALLAH. We all love the prophet and that is must; it is an academic discussion only. One brother pointer out ..”Sura al-Najm testifies about the Holy prophet&8217;s infallibility so does surah 33 verse 33”. This understanding and its scope can be very subjective. The scope of infallibility needs discussion. However, we cannot discard an authentic hadith, because prophet (saw) forgot something (assuming that violates his infallibility). Allah is the ONLY one perfect and everything else has some form of deficiency (i.e -death). Prophets are the best and specially chosen people but they get hungry, get tried, get emotional, get stressed and can have normal human limitations, except in issues related to heavenly message. The fact that Allaah has commanded us to follow the Messengers and take them as our example. The prophet (saw) must be loved, respected, and obeyed. It does not require any discussion for Muslims. He is the final authority in Islam. وَمَا كَانَ لِمُؤْمِنٍ وَلَا مُؤْمِنَةٍ إِذَا قَضَى اللَّهُ وَرَسُولُهُ أَمْرًا أَن يَكُونَ لَهُمُ الْخِيَرَةُ مِنْ أَمْرِهِمْ وَمَن يَعْصِ اللَّهَ وَرَسُولَهُ فَقَدْ ضَلَّ ضَلَالًا مُّبِينًا It is not fitting for a Believer, man or woman, when a matter has been decided by Allah and His Apostle to have any option about their decision: if any one disobeys Allah and His Apostle, he is indeed on a clearly wrong Path, (33:36)(/quran/compare/surah/33/36/ "33:36") Therefore, the message of messenger in the FINAL form MUST be perfect. الْيَوْمَ أَكْمَلْتُ لَكُمْ دِينَكُمْ وَأَتْمَمْتُ عَلَيْكُمْ نِعْمَتِي وَرَضِيتُ لَكُمُ الإِسْلاَمَ دِينًا This day have I perfected your religion for you, completed My favour upon you, and have chosen for you Islam as your religion. (5:03)(/quran/compare/surah/5/3/ "5:3") Note that the message might have gone through various stages (i.e abrogation, rectification) before the final stage. This is a part of completion process as Allah (swt) willed. مَا نَنسَخْ مِنْ آيَةٍ أَوْ نُنسِهَا نَأْتِ بِخَيْرٍ مِّنْهَا أَوْ مِثْلِهَا أَلَمْ تَعْلَمْ أَنَّ اللّهَ عَلَىَ كُلِّ شَيْءٍ قَدِير None of Our revelations do We abrogate or cause to be forgotten, but We substitute something better or similar: Knowest thou not that Allah Hath power over all things? (2:106)(/quran/compare/surah/2/106/ "2:106") We need to understand the role of prophet regarding the message. Can a prophet make mistake, forget, do poor ijtihad or commit sin? And, how that relates to authenticity or perfection of the message? Note the message of Islam is perfect as we saw. The Prophets are the best of mankind, and the most noble of creation before Allaah. Allaah chose them to convey the call of Laa ilaaha ill-Allaah to mankind, and Allaah has made them the intermediaries between Him and His creation in conveying His Laws. They were commanded to convey the message from Allaah, as He says (interpretation of the meaning):&8221; أولئك الذين آتيناهم الكتاب والحكم والنبوة فإن يكفر بها هؤلاء فقد وكلنا بها قوما ليسوا بها بكافرين They are those whom We gave the Book, Al Hukm (understanding of the religious laws), and Prophethood. But if these disbelieve therein (the Book, Al Hukm and Prophethood), then, indeed We have entrusted it to a people (such as the Companions of Prophet Muhammad) who are not disbelievers therein” (al-An’aam 6:89)(/quran/compare/surah/6/89/ "6:89") The Prophets’ task was to convey the message from Allaah even though they were human, hence the issue of infallibility may be examined from two angles: Infallibility in conveying the message and Infallibility from human error. Infallibility in conveying the message So with regard to conveying the religion of his Lord, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) did not make any mistakes at all (let alone sin), whether major or minor, rather he was infallible and under the constant protection of Allaah. He did not make mistakes: وَالنَّجْمِ إِذَا هَوَى .مَا ضَلَّ صَاحِبُكُمْ وَمَا غَوَى. وَمَا يَنطِقُ عَنِ الْهَوَى .إِنْ هُوَ إِلَّا وَحْيٌ يُوحَى. عَلَّمَهُ شَدِيدُ الْقُوَى By the star when it goes down (or vanishes).Your companion (Muhammad) has neither gone astray nor has erred. Nor does he speak of (his own) desire. It is only a Revelation revealed. He has been taught (this Qur’aan) by one mighty in power Jibreel (Gabriel) (al-Najm 53:1-5)(/quran/compare/surah/53/1/ "53:1") He did not make up lies: وَلَوْ تَقَوَّلَ عَلَيْنَا بَعْضَ الْأَقَاوِيلِ . لَأَخَذْنَا مِنْهُ بِالْيَمِينِ . .ثُمَّ لَقَطَعْنَا مِنْهُ الْوَتِينَ ..فَمَا مِنكُم مِّنْ أَحَدٍ عَنْهُ حَاجِزِينَ And if he (Muhammad) had forged a false saying concerning Us (Allaah), We surely would have seized him by his right hand (or with power and might), And then We certainly would have cut off his life artery (aorta), And none of you could have withheld Us from (punishing) him (al-Haaqqah 69:44-47)(/quran/compare/surah/69/44/ "69:44") He did not hide information: وَمَا هُوَ عَلَى الْغَيْبِ بِضَنِين� And Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “And he (Muhammad) withholds not a knowledge of the Unseen”al-Takweer 81:24(/quran/compare/surah/81/24/ "81:24") He did not forget: سَنُقْرِؤُكَ فَلَا تَنسَى We shall make you to recite (the Qur’aan), so you (O Muhammad) shall not forget (it)” (al-A’la 87:6)(/quran/compare/surah/87/6/ "87:6") He has the best, purposeful negligence and mistake cannot be done by him: وَإِنَّكَ لَعَلى خُلُقٍ عَظِيمٍ And thou (standest) on an exalted standard of character. (68:4)(/quran/compare/surah/68/4/ "68:4") Infallibility from human error: With regard to the Prophets as people, they may make mistakes or pass less than best judgment. They are corrected by Allah for the integrity of the final message. This may be discussed as follows: Prophet is a human: قُلْ إِنَّمَا أَنَا بَشَرٌ مِّثْلُكُمْ يُوحَى إِلَيَّ أَنَّمَا إِلَهُكُمْ إِلَهٌ وَاحِدٌ Say: �I am but a man like yourselves, (but) the inspiration has come to me, that your Allah is one Allah. (18:110)(/quran/compare/surah/18/110/ "18:110") With regard to major sins, as it requires no discussion, the Prophets do not commit major sins at all, and they are guided right and protected from such major sins. They may make mistakes, because a mistake may be made unintentionally. They are Matters that have nothing to do with conveying the message and the revelation. The following (see details later) stories of minor mistake or POOR ijtihad of the prophets are well known (they were rectified by Allah to ensure the integrity of the message and we are informed of these by Allah): …..When the two angels came to Dawood, he listened to the first and did not listen to what the second had to say… and the story of Yoonus when the big fish swallowed him; the story of Adam and the story of the Messenger with Zayd ibn Haarithah, they say that he concealed something which he should have declared openly; and with his Sahaabah (regarding grafting), he told them, “You know better about your worldly affairs,” ….. The evidence that they might make mistakes or forget and that they were not left to persist therein is the verses in which Allaah says of Adam (interpretation of the meaning): وَلَقَدْ عَهِدْنَا إِلَى آدَمَ مِن قَبْلُ فَنَسِيَ وَلَمْ نَجِدْ لَهُ عَزْمًا We had already, beforehand, taken the covenant of Adam, but he forgot: and We found on his part no firm resolve. (20:115)(/quran/compare/surah/20/115/ "20:115") وَعَصَى آدَمُ رَبَّهُ فَغَوَى. ثُمَّ اجْتَبَاهُ رَبُّهُ فَتَابَ عَلَيْهِ وَهَدَى Dawood made a mistake by hastening to pass judgment before hearing the case of the second disputant: دَاوُودُ أَنَّمَا فَتَنَّاهُ فَاسْتَغْفَرَ رَبَّهُ وَخَرَّ رَاكِعًا وَأَنَابَ. فَغَفَرْنَا لَهُ ذَلِكَ وَإِنَّ لَهُ عِندَنَا لَزُلْفَى وَحُسْنَ مَآبٍ And he Dawood sought forgiveness of his Lord, and he fell down prostrate and turned (to Allaah) in repentance. So We forgave him that, and verily, for him is a near access to Us, and a good place of (final) return (Paradise)” Saad 38:23-24(/quran/compare/surah/38/23/ "38:23") Prophet Muhammad (saw) made unintentional mistakes with regard to some worldly matters. This happened with regard to various spheres of life such as medicine, agriculture, etc. Muslim narrated in his Saheeh (6127) that Raafi’ ibn Khadeej said: The Prophet of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) came to Madeenah and found them pollinating the palm trees. He said: “What are you doing?” They said: “We always do this.” He said: “Perhaps if you do not do it, that will be better.” So they did not do it, and the harvest failed. They told him about that and he said: “I am only human. If I tell you to do something with regard to your religion, then do it, but if I tell you to do something based on my own opinion, then I am only human.” (link)(/hadith/sunan-ibn-majah/16/2471/ "Hadith of Pollination") Hence it is known that the Prophets are infallible and protected from error with regard to the Revelation, so we should beware of those who cast aspersions upon the Messenger’s conveying of the Message and his laws, and say that it is his own personal opinion. And our Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) was rebuked by his Lord for several things that are mentioned in the Qur’aan, such as the following (interpretation of the meaning):َ يا أَيُّهَا النَّبِيُّ لِمَ تُحَرِّمُ مَا أَحَلَّ اللَّهُ لَكَ تَبْتَغِي مَرْضَاتَ أَزْوَاجِكَ وَاللَّهُ غَفُورٌ رَّحِيمٌ O Prophet! Why do you forbid (for yourself) that which Allaah has allowed to you, seeking to please your wives? And Allaah is Oft Forgiving, Most Merciful al-Tahreem 66:1(/quran/compare/surah/66/1/ "66:1") This refers to the well-known story with some of his wives. Allah also rebuked His Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) concerning the prisoners of war at Badr: Muslim narrated in his Saheeh (4588) that Ibn ‘Abbaas said: When the prisoners were taken captive, the Messenger of Allaah (S) (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to Abu Bakr and ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with them): “What do you think about these prisoners?” Abu Bakr said: “O Prophet of Allaah, they are our cousins and kinsmen. I think that we should accept a ransom from them which will give us some support against the kuffaar, and perhaps Allaah will guide them to Islam.” The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “What do you think, O Ibn al-Khattaab?” He said: “I say, no, by Allaah, O Messenger of Allaah. I do not agree with Abu Bakr. I think that you should hand them over to us so that we may strike their necks (execute them). Hand over ‘Aqeel to ‘Ali so that he may strike his neck, and hand over So and so – a relative of ‘Umar – to me, for these are the leaders and veterans of kufr.” The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) liked what Abu Bakr said and he did not like what I ‘Umar said. The next day I came and found the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and Abu Bakr weeping. I said: “O Messenger of Allaah, tell me, what has made you and your companion weep? If there is a reason to weep, I will weep with you, and there is no reason, I will pretend to weep in sympathy with you because you are weeping.” The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “I am weeping because I was shown the torture to which they were subjected. It was brought as close to me as this tree” – a tree which was near the Prophet of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) – then Allaah revealed the words (interpretation of the meaning): مَا كَانَ لِنَبِيٍّ أَن يَكُونَ لَهُ أَسْرَى حَتَّى يُثْخِنَ فِي الأَرْضِ تُرِيدُونَ عَرَضَ الدُّنْيَا وَاللّهُ يُرِيدُ الآخِرَةَ وَاللّهُ عَزِيزٌ حَكِيمٌ …لَّوْلاَ كِتَابٌ مِّنَ اللّهِ سَبَقَ لَمَسَّكُمْ فِيمَا أَخَذْتُمْ عَذَابٌ عَظِيم “It is not for a Prophet that he should have prisoners of war (and free them with ransom) until he had made a great slaughter (among his enemies) in the land. You desire the good of this world (i.e. the money of ransom for freeing the captives), but Allaah desires (for you) the Hereafter. And Allaah is All-Mighty, All-Wise. Were it not a previous ordainment from Allaah, a severe torment would have touched you for what you took. So enjoy what you have gotten of booty in war, lawful and good” al-Anfaal 8:67-69(/quran/compare/surah/8/67/ "8:67") We see that for any mistake, Allah corrected him; that in turn ensures the integrity of the final message. Hence it is known that the Prophets are infallible and protected from error with regard to the Revelation, so we should beware of those who cast aspersions upon the Messenger’s conveying of the Message and his laws, and say that it is his own personal opinion. After all correction/ rectification provided by Allah, THE FINAL MESSAGE IS CORRECT and Prophet remained perfect in a sense after the correction from Allah. الْيَوْمَ أَكْمَلْتُ لَكُمْ دِينَكُمْ وَأَتْمَمْتُ عَلَيْكُمْ نِعْمَتِي وَرَضِيتُ لَكُمُ الإِسْلاَمَ دِينًا This day have I perfected your religion for you, completed My favour upon you, and have chosen for you Islam as your religion. (5:3)(/quran/compare/surah/5/3/ "5:3") ALLAH KNOWS BEST.
Read MoreYoung Muslim Girl Represents Youth at UN Crime Prevention Congress
Reem Shaikh is a 17-year-old Muslim hails from Houston. Wonderful news is that she has finished memorizing Qur’an when she was just seven and traveled to Egypt to learn Arabic. She did not get an opportunity to go to regular schools. She was homeschooled until the age of 12. Then she pursued her bachelors in Islamic Studies at Qatar University. The very fact is that children who are homeschooled will be stereotyped as illiterates. But case for Reem is something different. She is now a social activist and joined Doha youth forum, a forum from UN to give youth an opportunity to voice their opinions, last year. She was the only young Muslim girl who addressed UN delegates and answered their questions on role of youth in fighting crimes around the world.
Read MoreWhat is Hijra?
The Arabic word Hijra means migration. It marks the beginning of the new year in the Islamic calendar and refers to the migration of Muhammad (SAW) and his companions, from Mecca to Madina. The Hijra was a great historical event marking a significant change in Islamic history. The early Muslims gained a position of strength and authority following the Hijra. The Hijri calendar was adopted during the Khilafah (successorship) of Umar Ibn-Khathab (RA). Umar (RA) rejected many other suggestions to start the Islamic calendar, including the birth and death of the Muhammad (SAW). He stated, "The Hijra has separated truth from falsehood, therefore, let it become the Epoch of the Era" (Fath Al-Bari, Ibn Hajar al-Asqalani). Muhammad (SAW) publicly preached Islam in Mecca for more than a decade when the opposition was at its peak. The believers were harassed, abused and even cruelly tortured. Afraid for their safety, Muhammad (SAW) sent a group of Muslims to Abyssinia (now known as Ethiopia) where the Christian ruler extended protection to the Sahabahs. Shortly after that, Muhammad (SAW) sent seventy others to Yathrib (later re-named Madina) with the hope of establishing a new beginning for Islam. When Muhammad (SAW) set off for Yathrib with his closest friend, Abu-Bakr as-Siddique (RA), the leaders of Mecca decided to have him killed. They put a bounty on his head and sent people in pursuit. Muhammad (SAW) and Abu Bakr (RA) hid in a cave where Allah protected them from their assassins. Allah says,�"_It does not matter if you believers do not support him, for Allah did in fact support him when the disbelievers drove him out of Mecca, and he was only one of two. While they both were in the cave, he reassured his companion,�'Do not worry; Allah is certainly with us'. So, Allah sent down His serenity upon the Prophet, supported him with forces you believers did not see, and made the word of the disbelievers lowest, while the Word of Allah is supreme. And Allah is Almighty, All-Wise."_ (Quran, 9:40) The early Muslims made great sacrifices to move to Madina (Hijra) to begin the first ever Islamic community. Allah says,_"As for those who emigrated in the cause of Allah after being persecuted, We will surely bless them with a good home in this world. But the reward of the Hereafter is far better, if only they knew."_ (Quran, 16:41) Muhammad (SAW) and his followers were joyously welcomed by the people of Madina (the Ansar or "helpers"). Muhammad (SAW) established a concept of brotherhood among the Muslims and unity with the non-Muslim communities, including the Jewish tribes. The Hijra from Mecca to Madina marked the Muslims' transition from one stage to another on several different levels. They went from a position of weakness to one of strength. In Mecca, they were humiliated and abused at the hands of Quraysh, in Medina they were the ones with power. They went from spreading Islam individually in Mecca, to converting whole nations at a time in Medina. From implementing Islam individually in Mecca, to implementing a full, comprehensive, political, and economic system that governed a nation in every aspect of life. From being a small group of believers in Mecca to, becoming the heart of an Islamic nation encompassing Muslims in multiple countries. The Alim Foundation: NPS / NH; September 29, 2020
Read More